So how do you become an active, proactive, and independent person? To begin with, you need to analyze each concept in more detail and apply the following techniques.
1. Develop Inner Confidence
Self-confidence and self-confidence is a basic skills of a strong personality. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it - these are the thoughts that underlie any successful business. Although, of course, any person tends to doubt, and this is not scary. Confidence does not mean the absence of doubt. Confidence is the ability to deal with your doubts.
So how do you become more confident and increase your self-esteem?
It is important to soberly assess your capabilities: not aim at unattainable, vague goals but to constantly expand the range of your capabilities.
Moreover, this quality applies to all areas of activity: from household chores to work in leadership positions. It is worth developing the confidence that you can find a way to achieve everything you want.
2. Develop a sense of self-responsibility for your decisions and actions
A critical attitude toward the opinions of others will help you both form your own personal point of view and get rid of your dependence on the opinions of others.
This is a complex process, since it is impossible to be an expert in all areas, and we have to take the experts at their word. But you can be critical of most of the information, doubt it, and double-check what you hear.
Reduce the flow of incoming information. People consume tons of information: books, lectures, webinars, marathons, and more and more. But by receiving information in a continuous stream, we do not leave ourselves time for awareness. Reduce the number of sources from which you get information, and give yourself time to think about what you have learned, analyze, and check with what you knew before. Figure out how to apply it.
Do not create idols for yourself. It happens that experts in one area begin to speak out about an area that they do not understand. Politicians go into biology and pedagogy, former athletes go into psychology, and beekeepers go into anthropology. But these people already have their own admirers who already believe everything their gurus say and fiercely defends them. An idol can't be wrong, right?==
3. Analyze and take into account your mistakes in order to draw conclusions and correct your behavior
"I believe I need to always do what is right." These thoughts come from being raised in an environment such as this one.
We are taught that it is shameful to make mistakes; mistakes are punished with bad grades, and those who study poorly are automatically recorded in the category of future janitors. But it's not. It's time to change your attitude toward mistakes.
Humble yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. You can't learn anything without making a lot of mistakes.
Keep acting. Mistakes don't mean you're incapable.
Share yourself and your mistakes.
Analyze. Mistakes show areas for growth. If a mistake is made, think about how you can avoid similar mistakes in the future.
Know how to admit and see your mistakes, because a mistake does not mean that something is wrong with you.
4. Openly Express and Show Your Feelings
Any emotion has the right to exist. Managing your emotions means being able to openly express what you feel while at the same time trying not to hurt the feelings of other people.
If a person is angry, then it is quite realistic to voice it, for example: “I am angry - this situation," “Your tone makes me angry," or “I am angry when they treat me disrespectfully." And this goes for all the senses.
Not everyone knows how to openly voice feelings, discontent, doubts, sadness, and anger, and again, this is due to an established model of behavior.
But intense anger can get in the way, increase conflict, and even lead to violence. It is useful to be able to work through your emotions in order to maintain your sanity even in the most difficult situations.
Use self-instruction. Sometimes it can be helpful to tell yourself what to do and how to do it. “I can stay calm. I know it's the most efficient. I'll Just repeat my request.
Don't worry about anger. People get angry, and this is a normal reaction to frustration, that is, a situation where we want something but cannot get it. Instead of being angry at yourself because of incontinence, it is better to think about how you can achieve what you want.
Walk and walk. Such physical activity helps to calm down and relieve stress. It is undesirable to hit objects to calm down, as this will cause the habit of "angry - hitting".
5. Develop your own autonomy and individuality
consider your aspirations: What do you dream about? What are you striving for? To develop individuality, it is essential to find an inner reservoir of self-expression.
Find a hobby that is interesting for you, choose a wardrobe for your own mood, and try to get creative. Don't be afraid to express yourself!
6. Get rid of envy
Envy takes a lot of strength, undermines self-confidence, and leads to the fact that hands fall. Where does it come from, and how do you get rid of the feeling of envy toward other people?
Envy arises when we face social injustice. Well, why do I water the lawn all day long, and it turns yellow, and the neighbor never watered, and he has green grass? Isn't it fair? Not fair.
Envy. That is, we feel envious when it seems that others received something undeservedly, without making any effort, and we tried, but the result is worse. Some kind of counter. How to turn it off and stop envying others? Only a critical understanding of what is happening.
Estimate the amount of effort. Did the neighbor really do nothing for his lawn? Or maybe you just didn't see it? Is the neighbor really well-groomed and beautiful in her own right? Or is she investing in her appearance, playing sports, watching her diet, and visiting salons?
Estimate the amount of happiness that a neighbor gets from his green lawn. Is the lawn really the most important thing for a happy life? Maybe long nails do not make their owner happy and contented?
Don't compare yourself to others. But how to stop envying and comparing if everything around is better and more successful?
Accept the fact that everyone has their own path and their own successes. Yes, someone is better, so what? Someone else's success does not make you worse and does not devalue your dignity. And the only person you should compare yourself to is yourself in the past.
7. Set clear goals and go for them
To determine your goals, you can first write down all your desires. By asking yourself about the goals.
Another great tip is the Wheel of Life Balance. To do this, mark on the diagram below how satisfied you are with each area of your life.
How long have you been playing sports? Have you seen relatives? How can family relationships be improved? What to do with fatigue and irritability? ==
So it will be easier for you to assess which area is currently sagging.
Then write down what result you would rate on a 10 scale in each area. For example, his own workshop in the city center in the field of "hobby."
Based on your ideal image of yourself in the future, it will be easier for you to understand what goals you need to set in order to achieve such a result. At the same time, try to define the goal as specifically as possible: not just “get more," but “get 20 thousand rubles. per month more by September next year, while working no more than 10 hours a day."
When the goals are clearly defined, you need to paint the path to them step by step and correlate them with the calendar. In this case, the first step is better taken by doing something easy, for example, writing to a specialist who works in a direction that interests you or view current vacancies.
When goals are clearly defined and plans are laid out, you will not have the opportunity to waste time anywhere.
8. Take action
Learn to finish what you start. But how do you become purposeful?
Focus on actions, not emotions. A person who focuses on their emotions and feelings does less than one who focuses on action. But when you want to do something, just do it, and you will deal with your feelings a little later.
Learn to set goals. If you do not have a purpose in life, or you have lost it, you do not need to do something special or look for it somewhere. You create your own goals. Small or global - buying a vacuum cleaner or conquering the world.
Goals are the result of your decisions. Think about what is important for you in this life, how you would like to live, what to do, and what kind of person you want to be. Your goal will depend on this.
Use the zone of proximal development. Do things that you can't do on your own yet, but you can if someone helps you. For example, you can't ride a bike yet, but you manage if someone holds the bike by the trunk. After some time, you will master the skill, and it will move into the zone of your development.
Speak up about your actions. It's time to change and go to practice. No, no social media right now, I’ll go and answer the letter.” Voicing specific actions increases concentration and focus, but statements like “get together, rag” are practically useless.
Pay attention to your behavior that prevents you from achieving your goals, and change it.
I should immediately respond to letters for work, but I always procrastinate. What am I distracted by? How can I change this habit? The 7Spsy Behavioral Development course will help you gain self-confidence and successfully overcome life's challenges.
The technology is based precisely on this method of behavioral therapy when old and unsuccessful behaviors are changed to new, more effective ones. You get used to acting differently, the way you want. This process can be compared to updating a program on a computer to a new, working version.
You will not just get a program that you somehow need to apply to yourself. You will have a clear action plan tailored to your needs. What behavior do you want to change?
You are confident in yourself, but with difficulty, you bring what you started to an end.
In any case, you can start changing in the very near future, since the course is remote, you do not need to go anywhere and wait for the stream to start.
And a personal psychologist will be ready to support you at any time - by phone, e-mail, or online chat. This format of communication with a psychologist is more productive than 1 meeting every 1-2 weeks.
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As a result, in 2-6 weeks you will begin to think and act like someone with a strong personality, decide on goals and growth areas, learn to treat yourself with dignity and learn to depend on yourself.
As one unknown psychologist said: "I will never be alone because I have myself."
But are psychologists really needed? Can't a person change himself?
Not only capable but will change itself.
A psychologist does not control a person like a puppet, he will not be able to overcome your isolation and develop a sense of purpose for you. But it can simplify and facilitate this process, make it shorter and more effective, and take into account the dynamics and characteristics of your retraining.
9. Improve yourself
Look for ways to improve your professionalism: there are many online courses now. Try yourself in different areas and directions. Start learning foreign languages.
10. Learn to enjoy life
No matter how dire a situation may seem, there is always a bright side. Even crises and difficult events give us the opportunity to gain experience.
Being a strong personality means having the necessary qualities in order to enjoy life and be successful. You can work with each quality separately, and at once with all sides of the personality.
Most importantly, remember that the time and money you invest in developing your personality always pays off.
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