Many people really want to be strong. Cope with all of life's difficulties, do not give up in difficult situations, be confident in yourself and your abilities, rely on yourself and not on the opinions of others, and be able to defend your rights.
Is it possible to develop such qualities in oneself? By tradition, we have 2 news: good and a little worse.
The good news is that a person can change themselves. A person's brain changes when influenced by experiences which makes it flexible and not set in stone.
The news is worse - there is no magic pill that will make a strong and courageous person out of an infantile and weak person overnight.
Although some manage to seriously reconsider their lives in one day, faced with a tough life crisis. You can change your behavior, but this will require some effort and consistent action on your part.
So it pays to be patient, and we will help you choose the tools for development. Study the article, and bookmark it - you will find a lot of useful and practical information on how to stop being shy, withdrawn, and insecure.
Let's figure out what qualities a strong personality has that prevent people from starting again on Monday, and how to properly develop useful qualities so as not to give up everything in a week.
To begin with, let's define what qualities distinguish a strong personality from an ordinary person.
Self-confidence and initiative. The most important quality. A strong personality soberly assesses his abilities and prospects, boldly manifests himself and does not sink into despondency, faced with restrictions.
The ability to build relationships with others and win them over. A strong personality knows how to talk and negotiate with people, taking into account not only their own interests but also the interests of others.
A responsibility. A strong personality knows how to take responsibility for their actions and decisions, but at the same time does not take responsibility for others.
The ability to learn from your mistakes. Like any person, he can make mistakes, but he perceives mistakes as a way to become a strong and confident person, and not as a failure of his whole life.
Open expression and the manifestation of their feelings. A strong personality is well versed in his emotions and understands what they are caused by. He knows how to openly voice his feelings: discontent, doubts, sadness, anger, and other emotions.
Autonomy. A strong personality understands that she is a separate and complete person who should not merge with other people into a single whole. Such a person can stand up for himself and protect his borders.
Bright personality. A strong personality is not afraid to be different from other people, she knows that the right to be herself is an inalienable right of any person.
Lack of envy. A strong personality does not envy other people's successes and is able to rejoice for others.
Habit to act. A strong personality knows how to set goals, achieve them, and even change them in the middle of the way if it suddenly becomes clear that the original goal is wrong.
Self-improvement. A strong personality never stops developing. He honestly realizes what qualities and skills need to be developed and acts in this direction.
Able to set clear goals and persistently achieve them. He knows exactly what he is striving for, and goes for what he wants, despite the obstacles.
Cheerfulness. No, this does not mean that a strong personality only smiles and wears rose-colored glasses from morning to evening. However, such people know how to enjoy life, how to be optimistic, and not give up in case of failure.
Righteous persons
The virtues of a strong character come through in the rights of an individual. These rights are also called assertive behavior, that is, the ability not to depend on external opinions but to rely on oneself and regulate one's behavior on one's own.
Following them, as a rule, helps to become more decisive and gets rid of the stress caused by the constant expectation of condemnation from others. At the same time, remember that other people have exactly the same rights.
A person has the right to evaluate his own behavior, thoughts, and emotions and be responsible for the consequences. When we take on the function of evaluating ourselves, we begin to reason in terms of “it suits me or not”, and not “I am good or bad, but what others will think of me”. Following this rule will help both overcome self-doubt and raise self-esteem.
The attitude against which this right is directed is: from the side you know better, others know me better, so they must evaluate how good or bad I am.
A person has the right to make excuses for his actions, thoughts, or behavior.
Attitude: I must live up to the expectations of others and apologize if my actions do not meet these expectations.
The individual has the right to decide whether to take responsibility for the actions and problems of other people. It is important to understand that it is not necessary to be responsible for everything. Often this is simply impossible, we do not have enough resources for everything.
Attitude: First, I must take care of others, and only then, if there is time, can I think about myself.
A person has the right to change his mind and change his mind. This behavior is a normal reaction to the changes that are happening around us. The world is changing, circumstances are changing, and so can we.
Setting: If I voice an opinion, I must stick to it all my life. Changing my mind means that I am incompetent, irresponsible, and bad and cannot make any decisions.
A person has the right to make mistakes and be responsible for their mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and neither are we, so making mistakes is normal. Learn from your mistakes instead of judging yourself for them.
Setting: You can’t make mistakes, any mistake is the collapse of everything, and I should feel guilty because of them.
The individual has the right to say, "I don't know." It is impossible to know everything, and not knowing something does not make us useless, stupid, or bad.
Setting: I must know the answers to all questions, and I must feel guilty if I do not know something.
A person has the right not to depend on the attitude of others. Many people ignore their own interests and strive to please everyone, to be accepted and loved. But we can feel good and enjoy life, even if others do not approve of something.
Installation: Others should love me and treat me well, only in this way can I be happy.
The individual has the right to say, "I don't understand what you want." We do not have to read the thoughts of others and guess what they really want.
Installation: I must be sensitive and attentive towards others, I need to anticipate their desires, otherwise there will be nothing to love me for.
It is okay for someone to say, "I'm not interested." We should not always listen with interest to others or do things that we do not like or are not interested in.
Attitude: I have to share the passions of others and keep up boring conversations; otherwise, I will be cruel and callous.
Of course, there is no need to bring these rules to the point of absurdity, when healthy and necessary egoism develops into egocentrism and begins to violate the rights of other people.
The main task of the rights of the individual is to realize that for good health and confidence you do not need to meet all the requirements of strangers. Moreover, it is still unrealistic.
A self-confident person can be kind, can care for others, and can help them. But at the same time, he does not have to feel bad if he does not fit into the framework of an ideal person.
Can a girl be strong?
Contrary to existing stereotypes, a woman can develop a strong, self-confident personality. At the same time, it is worth sharing the concept of strength and authority (or, rather, the manners of a tyrant).
A strong person knows how to rely on himself, but he can also ask for help if necessary, He is able to support a loved one and help him in a difficult situation.
An imperious person seeks to subjugate others around him, manipulates them, asserts himself at the expense of others, and resorts to violence, psychological or physical if something contradicts his desires.
But if a powerful person is not interested in something, he will easily leave his partner in a difficult situation. A strong person is capable of cooperation and dialogue, an imperious one wants to dominate.
As a rule, when they say that “a woman does not need to be strong,” they mean exactly authority.
How do I know if I am a strong person?
Between the categories of "strong" and "weak" personalities, there are many intermediate options.
The vast majority of people have good inclinations to develop a strong personality, but someone lacks willpower, someone lacks confidence, and someone is hindered by excessive demands on themselves. Take our test and determine which part of your personality is worth paying attention to.
The test consists of 4 blocks, each of which has 5 statements. Read them and answer agree or disagree.”
1st block
I often quit what I started and regret it.
It's hard for me to force myself to do what needs to be done.
I have long started and unfinished business, because of which I feel embarrassed.
I have quit smoking/drinking/overeating many times or trying to start exercising/eating right, but nothing has worked.
It is difficult for me to stop if I have entered into an argument or a skirmish.
2nd block
I can refuse clothes/things that I like if others do not like them.
I can do something to please others, even if it is to the detriment of myself.
I feel ashamed of who I am.
It's very easy to convince me, no matter what point I feel like I'm making.
Most often, it is difficult for me to argue my opinion, I get lost and speak inconsistently, especially if the opponent is active and assertive.
3rd block
I couldn't achieve anything in life because I was raised wrong.
I am responsible, but something constantly prevents me from fulfilling my plans or promises.
I am accountable for every decision and action I take in my life.
Sometimes it seems to me that I am a failure or that I have an unfortunate destiny.
I always take time to talk over my decisions with those close to me.
4th Block
It seems to me that others have nothing to teach me, I myself know everything very well.
I believe that the right information is always simple and accessible.
I believe everything that a person who is authoritative to me says because he has already won my trust.
I tend to believe what they say on TV or write in the papers.
I believe in signs because they always come true for me.
Analyze your answers.
The first block is responsible for willpower.
2nd block - for self-confidence
3rd block - for a sense of duty
4th block - for critical thinking.
The more times you answer “I agree, most often so” in each block, the more attention we recommend paying to this side of your personality. However, remember that the test is only indicative, for a more accurate determination of weaknesses, it is better to use the help of a specialist.
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